A N I S 97

pissed off with someone that really don't know how to control or have the ANGIN!

layan je la.....

~aNiSr~

My Streamyx's line went down i think for a week! how i filled my time then? Tidoring, TV, TIdoring, SMSing (=p tq!:">)TV and yeah the same routine :P but there's time that i went out jugak la of coz. shopping sket sane sini, hang out lepak minum-minum @ NZ with High School friends. solidly FUN! (eventhough ade gak org yg aku tak suker dtg that time. but wth! giler keji haku =p) that time, i'm so in 'Jiwa Kacau' mode. muahhhahaha~ at the end, i asked BFF to pass by umahnye. janji dapat tgk bumbung rumah pon ok la. kengkonon menahan rindu la konon :P ahhahahah! but the next day? weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =p

~aNiSr~

everything's new!

• my new job - new JD, new stress :D



• new life @ emotion - errrr~ kinda! releasing, relief, letting go bla~bla~bla



• new friends - yeah! new good friends! Alhamdulillah!



• new stuff in the closets- hell ya! u mean shoes or tops? ahahhaha!

~aNiSr~

Cik Anis, don't think too much! i think you know better. don't deny it!

the answer is ~NO~ (or might be in thinking mode?errghhhhhhhhhh!) which part that you don't understand Miss Anis? :-

solid reasons that i can think of :

• too late



• too fast (yeah!again)



• mmg ko je yang perasan sebenarnye Cik Anis ~ lalalalala~ :">

am i regret? errrr nop! (again! never felt regret when being nice to someone~)

*yeah! thinking so NEGATIVELY now. sleeping in hoping mode*

~aNiSr~

feeling so nervous today. dunno why~ whole day! till now, still feel like my blood running all over upside down without following the proper flow.

hoping some great news.

~aNiSr~

huhuhuuuh! can't think anything now! haihhhhhhhh~ still can feel the blushing mode everywhere. mmg seminggu takyah pakai blusher pi keje ni~ ehheheheh~

i just published 'Suprises' post and turn out ~ me back to basic doing suprises to someone. thhihihiih~ loving it!

thanks to 'closest' and ++ (i got new family from 'closest' network! wehuuuuuuuuuuu~) for the craziest moral support ever! went to their house (which is soooOoOOoO near to mine) to buy few elegant bracelets. and suddenly they ter~promo this stainless steel magnetic infrared thingy bracelet which can help improve the health la mende ntah. just thought about someone, and errr~ 'closest' pon memberi cadangan bernas ' nis, pe lagi, bagi ... menarik ni' and guess what?! i was thinking the same thing! that's so me! when someone nice to me, i always be 10 times nicer to them.

hope you like it dear~ :">

~aNiSr~

• felt so away



• felt so disconnected



• too fast



• too late



• too much

can't afford to do same mistake. i wish i can ask or tell him but hey! boleh tak chill?! you can see from the response. and actually you can feel inside. deep inside! it's nothing! stop putting hope~

are u suffering short term memory lost Miss Anis? or u just in denial mode?

yeah~ when reading back the !YM Archive, it's nice to be true. but the fact is, he's just a friend from High School~ only treats me as a Good ex-High School Friend ONLY. lalalallalaa~

*close the book! Anis, you are not telling him anything ok?! haih~

~aNiSr~

i feel odd!

yeah maybe thinking of something that i know will never be the same again. we never get everything that we want. even though sometimes we thought that's the most perfect thing for us but others might be thinking the other way round.

yup! he's a good friend. knowing since High School then we met back through Friendster & !YM. no doubt, i do like to be friends with him (hoping more than a friend Anis? =o). but i just felt maybe he suddenly felt that we are coming from two different world which seriously i don't mind about that. but i guess, i don't want to push it to the edge. might turn worse cik Anis. yeah~ i did my part. try my best to be a good friend errr~ yeah~ more than that sometimes i guess. hahhahah~

but sometimes man always a man. when there is a huge gap between the man and the woman, they tend to move away from the gap rather than close it or at least make it smaller. or it's just a human nature. not specific to any gender.

i can feel that he's slowly try to get away from this 'circle'. it's his choice actually. but so far, i had great time knowing him. not much to say. or it might just me that only terperasan sekejap sekali lagi. lalalalala~ wth aight?

*spread the love mode*

*tu la mase die elok dgn hang, hang lari masuk hutan, takut la ape la. skang ni, rasekan la Cik Anis oi. :"> lalalalala~

~aNiSr~

i just love suprises!

Sometimes i dreamed of someone standing at my doorstep and suprises me with a bouquet of flowers and ring me from the outside 'hey u!i kat luar ni, keluar la jap!' weeeeeeeeeeeeeehuuuuuuuuuuu~ i do love suprises. when it combine it with FLOWERS, adoiiii~ jatuh hati suda. ahahahhaah! suddenly.... =p

~aNiSr~

phewwww~

yup 2 days packed!

Saturday

morning - Majlis Aidilfitri @ Surau. me taking care of the slide. woohhooo~ yeah! so canggih this year.me had to read out speech also. adeh mak~ wakil wanita. perrrgghhh! sounds so like 'marilah undi saya!' :P

afternoon - went to Pavillion with 'closest' wehuuuuuuuuuu~ wanted to get the ballerina tapi takdeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! damn! even not at the display! geram. totally geram. before that went into Tangs, bought a Butterfly brooch! lovely~ and the price also'LOVELY' went to The Loaf to buy some bread yang yummy. yup! the Lamb Sandwich was superb! pusing punye pusing went to Clinique House. 1st in Malaysia. and saw the consultant that i knew in KLCC. wehhhuuu~ mmg ade je borak dan promosinye kan? :P bought cleanser milk and wanted to buy more but heh~ abis budget untuk 2bulan akan datang nanti. huhuuh~ then, so many places that we singgah but me so frust coz tak dapat kasut idaman kalbu.

night - errr~ thihihi~ last minute plan. went out with a good friend i should call here =p wanted to ask about the shoes again.but actually i wanted to hang out somewhere with someone. =p headed to vincci then to Dome. minum2 and chat here and there but hey he's kinda quite though. so lagi la haku segan.(ye ke? =o) ehhehee~ then headed to Kota Damansara to pass something to 'closest'. yup! went with him. thihii~ then headed back to send him home and continue YMessengering till 1am ++.

-end of the Saturday-

Sunday

morning - errr~ woke up around 10am. eventhough woke up at 9am tapi saje gatal meneruskan perjalanan tdo. then trus je menonong watching tv. then around 12 ++, siap siap for wedding at neighbour's house. and guess what! i've met my High School Math teacher! weeeehuuuuu~ i remembered as the Loudest Teacher ever! when she started to scream or even started her class,the whole building will hear her voice. yes! seriously! but she's nice though. turn out she's the sister of my neighbour. habis la rahsia kerajaan haku zaman skolah dulu. =p

afternoon - pick good friend up at his house. and ter errrr~ meet his mom. lalu diriku lakukan perkara wajib wanita melayu terakhir =p. actually our plan was - open house @ kota damansara - midvalley (shoes +movies) but turns out last minute lagi - wedding @ putrajaya. huhuuh~ so the flow would be - keramat - putrajaya - kota damansara - midvalley =p wehuuuu~ yup! full day pack! went to the wedding, us kinda errr~ i dunno feel like ackward i guess coz we were like from different world i guess. then turn out to be me going one side and he's going one side. seriously i dunno how to react. and i guess he felt same way. then, me sitting with others (definitely fun group =p) + High School BFF next to me. and mule la soalan2 cepu emas keluar such as - datang ngan sape? sorang je ke? bile lagi? mane BF? even ade yang gatal ' mane suami ko? bukan ko dah kawen ke bulan lepas' i take it as SUPER DAMN FUNNY statement of the day la. ahhahahah! mmg giler~ me going there with jeans ( Ya Ampun! tak penah dibuat haku!) and seriously Thank God i've missed the 'Pasangan Bahagia'. it's actually very closeeee giler coz' when we were like went up through the stairs and then they were just passed by but not looking towards the stairs la. ahhahah~ hope u can imagine that. but i'm so RELIEF not meeting them though! but yeah~ everybody looks like shock when look at us. arrghh~ don't bother la. but i don't know how he felt about it la kan.

evening - went to Midvalley + The Gardens. uhuhuuh~ got the BALLERINA! weeeeehuuuuuuuuuuu~ so happy bout it. and turn out, bought another one. Black Wedges. huhuhu~ showed to him - nice or not? dia senyum je. =p thiihih~ then have a tour in The Gardens and stopped by at ISetan, yup almost menyetan when i saw this brown long purse by Liz Clairborne yang giler lame dah menjadi Idaman Hatiku! huwaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ mmg teringat-ingat ni. huhuhu~ but can't afford to buy for now. ahhahah~ budget giler lari mengangkang dah ni =p (hoping someone can buy for me *wink *wink~)

sent him back to the house but errr~ half way to the home, he accidentally ter~slept. too tired. sian u =p

-end of sunday-

~aNiSr~

can't just stop it ~ when thought back, i can't hold it.

just received 'closest' call - complaining about something which also make me pissed me off like she did! mmg tak boleh terima la ape yg dah terjadi.

back to the track, i just hoping 'closest' didn't ask bout 'it' but 'closest' did. i just can't hold the tears~ but i kept on talking to her like usual. but deep in the heart, full of GUILT~ and i keep on promising ...

~aNiSr~

errrr~ yup! today's training really made my head cracked and waiting to burst. feel so like 'aku tak tau semua ni!!! camne aku nak survive?!!' and there ARE A LOTTTTT!
wait & see then!

~aNiSr~

early in the morning, it's raining. i just love rain! rain never fail made me feels so good. plus it's Friday and raining on Friday morning made me feels better. but turns out raining also means something else.

in the afternoon, i cracked into tears. a call from 'closest' that i missed so much. hoping that i'll be there but i can't.

i'm in the middle of - I don't want to tell a LIE but can't afford to tell the TRUTH either. i have to respect both sides. but my 1st prioritize definitely towards my 'closest'. but i just can't tell the other 'closest'. so i'm stucked in the middle. when i put down the phone, my tears just burst. can't even say a word. but i know, this decision made is the best for me right now. sometimes i just have to follow & see & no need to think further. 'closest' knows better than anyone else.

i do hope the other 'closest' understand eventhough sometimes i doubt about it. seriously, i want to be there for the WHOLE day. i mean it! sometimes i feel i just wanna go & never bother of him, but i know, i can't afford to do that. but when 'closest' give out the red light, i don't have anything to say. but there is also other reasons why i can't make it.

Dearest Closest +++ (why? because there are few of them)

Sorry i can't make it. I wish I can tell everything. but i guess it's for our own good, for both sides. but my Love towards all of you will never change... that's for sure!

~aNiSr~

damn~ i miss him!

~aNiSr~

thihihii~ i should publish this one last night tapi wuhoooo~ a week before 'the time' always drives me crazy. feel so sleepy, feel blotted, started to eat without planning & thinking. huhuhu~ but it's a hormone thing aight~ can't live without it!

she called yesterday. just to ensure whether i received the wedding invitation and i did tell her on the wrong-name-written incident. and she kinda very errrr~ shall i say quite embarassed on what happened? then she send a SMS late evening - say sorry ++ (i shall not publish here. what for?) hmmmmm~ i guess~ apology accepted. actually she doesn't owe me anything. yup~ anymore. it's just me. i just hate to be hurt. DAMN HATE i said! when i loved someone (whether special one, or friends), i really mean it. and i will do anything for them. even more than myself. but if they just snapped it, or lose it- u asking me? you don't wanna know how i'm gonna react and till when. and maybe you wish you never knew me before. i wish i can tell her everything here. but i think, the more i said, the worse thing could be.

i still can remember the way she look at me, the thing that she said to me that time. i don't mind people said anything to me, even cursing me straight on my face, but that day, i just feel i lose it! lose the trust towards you and i think you lose the trust towards me too.

don't feel sorry for yourself. yes! i am truly sorry for myself 'cos feeling this way. but like i said, i just HATE to be hurt. thank you for all the things that you have done for me during our good time together. seriously i mean it. but i guess, u have better life now even without me as your friend. always pray for the best...

~aNiSr~

i should start reading books by now. to improve communication and writing skills =p

too late, u think? naaah~ everyday is a learning day. u learn new things each day. i do read lots of books during high school and it improves my writing skills A LOT! but then during university, i can't even manage my time to read newspaper. bought magazines, till next month, still haven't finisih half of it. uhhuhuhu~ if text book during uni, just read the index or front chapter. then ttuuuuuuuttttttt~ just refer 2 days before exam. run through the whole book in 1/2 hour. how fast and cool is that? i'm the superwoman what? ahhahahah~ pastu berangan nak pass dengan pelbagai warna :P

have to make habit. maybe i should start by completing reading the magazines that i've bought for this month. i think my main hinder is the DESKTOP! busy blogging, Friendstering, Facebooking, YMessengering ~ =p so starting tomorrow, sit and laid back on the bed and start READING! ~yeah right! :">~

~aNiSr~

should i or shouldn't i tell her @ them?

it's not that i don't want. i really love too but i can't (i think).

but i know, i should telling her @ them the truth. but how?

scared that it might turn worse.

i just LOVE them so much!

*errr~ Super-Fast-Good-Friend doesn't care? hey! it's predictable!

~aNiSr~

supposed to publish this post on 7th Nov, but can't manage to leave the sleep =p*

today's closest' birthday!

Happy Birthday Sis! Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for all the love that i know i'll never get elsewhere. Always Love You...

Tomorrow at Bangsar Seafood - celebrating 'closest' birthday & Deepavali too =D

~aNiSr~

*supposed to publish this post on 7th Nov, but can't manage to leave the sleep =p*

last night, had a chat with 'closest' and she shared some sad stories. i'm really pissed and so angry when been told that story. love is blind and turn you blind and numb too remember?

my 'closest' also continued her stories. from my view, i think if you had very calculative in spread-the-love things, don't be suprise that your children or the other party will do the same thing. don't expect anything for return if you too hesitate or too stingy to start it first. if you don't know how to respect others, why should they bother to respect you?

back to the Loves Turn You Blind story. if we love someone, we tend to do crazy things (in fact, we turn crazy when we are in love.(i did =p) we gonna keep thinking about him/her, keep berangan things that tak masuk akal sometimes, always planning suprises for him/her (i like suprises :">) but sometimes we never admit that we tend to let them do anything to us. let them do crazy thing to us. yeah~ we tend to be 'too tolerate, too tak kisah' most of the time. because what? because we love them and doesn't want them to get away from us. we too scared of losing them but sometimes we tend to forget that they might didn't feel the same way towards us. sometimes, say the LOVE words might be enough, but once you said it, u better prove it and show it aight? to said it out, it is not easy, to maintain of something that you've said is even harder. no need to hug tight till u cannot breath, but a gesture and body language is more than enough. kalau dah asik berkepit bagai pon rimas jugak kan? understanding, respect and trust are good combination i guess. blend it and you gonna get good mixture.

*I miss to 'spread-the-love' lalalalla~

~aNiSr~

haih~ i received an invitation from old high school classmate (rather to call her classmate than a friend). when i opened it, i'm so speechless! the name stated there is ...............!!!! wth? my first Cinta Monyet Pertama Yang Psycho? what the? then i just simply called my High School BFF and told her bout it and she just ' ilek la anis, salah letak tu. ko jgn la pk pk hal dulu, dah lepas tu lepas la. jgn la nak marah die ke ape' eeee but it's so coincidence! then i said 'nape tak letak ..... & pasangan / partner?' and she answered back ' dah kalau die letak, lagi ko hangin tak?' haihhh~ i don't give a damn anymore but it's too errr~ COINCIDENCE! hope he didn't get the card that have my name written there? or else it is a SET UP! uhhuhhu~ but don't bother as i won't come to the wedding anyway unless i don't know~ something or someone change my mind~ but not because of the wrong-name-written incident, but what she have done to me long time ago.had forgive her but SERIOUSLY hard to forget. that's why i just HATE to be hurt...

~aNiSr~

diriku yg rakus menyuap One Scoop Haagen Dazs Green Tea sambil menjawab tepon =p (credit to my dearest BFF yg mengambil gambar ni secara curik-curik dan mmg diriku tak sedar okeh? :~*)

can spot the Double Chin? huhuhuhu~

~aNiSr~

thihihihi~ i guess today kind of Girls' Talk Day! it happened in the afternoon and late evening today. 'closest' called me today and shared some interesting stories about her close friend. hurrrmmm~ kind of sad of having a friend who doesn't know how to appreciate people called BEST FRIEND. but what i believe is, if you can't tolerate each other, it's hard to proceed. i had tough time too with my BFFs but hey~ we still remain as BFFs though! maybe it's just because a simple understanding is more than enough. like i said before in my previous post, there is a lot of people outhere that can be your BEST FRIEND, but are they WILLING to be your BEST FRIEND? if yes, then he's/she's the one!

then, my 'closest' called my direct line in the office and started talking about our 'closest' matters. but seriously thinking about it, 2 way communication should be implemented away long time ago. shouldn't be a NASTY problem now!

then me and my 'backsite' colleague (ahahahha! i know! sounds giler keji but wth!) and other colleague as well went to this one big room to do lawatan of good-colleage and started to have conversation about AIDS Awareness and errrr~ some other 'marriage & sensitive' issues. thtihihhi~ can't afford to tell anything here coz' toooooOOoOoOO shy la :"> we had BIG laugh la. malu pon ade, but then straight to the point la kan? it's called KNOWLEDGE SHARING. not saying that i'm the expert la kan? but just to share what i know =p lallalalala~

and today's training seriously made me feel more excited to do new job eventhough the hesitation and takut-takut still there. but hope this 2-weeks training will be giving me more semangat waja to move forward and prepare for next challenges. and today the boss-of-the-boss called me to his office and jeng jeng jeng~ just did V&V je rupenye. but my so called 'TEAM mates' were like ' ha ni confirm la ni stay kat dpmt lame ni, so pack pack je notes ni sume ni ye?' and another one said' so komfem u jadi manager ni?' hahahahah~ i'm like what the? ahhahahah~ crazy la they all! but one day? we never know...

and this morning i had breakfast with 'EXTERNAL' mentor. and he made me feel better of getting to know my strenght & weakness and in fact knowing myself better...

~aNiSr~

i should have published these photos first rather than 'Bujang & Dara's'. this happened at my 'closest' house before we had quick breakfast. i just adore this photos! when 'closest' turned to 10 years old kid! lepaskan gian then masuk rumah termengah-mengah kepenatan as the road is quite berbukit lol~ ahhahahaha~

*wonder why i still can't 'afford' to ride a bicycle till now~ thihiihi~

~aNiSr~

wuhhhhuuuuu~ it's already November! kejapnye. haih~ just read 2 comments that made me laugh berguling-guling depan desktop ni :P forgot to story of the glory when me n BFF crossed the road along Bukit Bintang Walk yesterday. We saw a line of new Honda Elysion passing by all the way Bukit Bintang Walk. and i'm like errr~ i want to take photo! tapi polis giler berlambak and taknak la nampak jakun sangat pls :P so i took my V8 and kengkonon cam sms la sblom nak lintas jalan. BFF already laugh like mad la sbb haku berlakon dengan cemerlang but suddenly i saw one of the co-driver pulled down the window and shouted to me ' errrr~ dik! belakang kosong ni,meh la naik, nak amik gambar lagi ke? meh la!' adoiiii~ i'm like ' aaaa?!!!' BFF like ' eh, ko ni layan plak buat pe?' thihihii~ me like so cam terkejut and segan pon ade sbb orang perasan taktik haku. lalallalala~ then, barulah kami melintas dengan cemerlang. =p

and today, quite a happy today. no stress as i started in-house training for new job. huhuuhuh~ all day in the room. and quite relax and more and more info to be ABSORB like sponge absorbing the water. lalalallalaa~

my best shots =p

*the Honda Elysion looked nice and kinda smart though! =D

~aNiSr~

Took a bud of rose yesterday @ Westin Hotel but dunno where to put. So i decided to put in inside the 'Mangkuk of My Bujang & Dara'. who are they? refer to photo below. The Dara was soooo in LOVE kot sampai lepak atas bunga ros tu. ahhahah! Dara~Dara~

* I LOVE FLOWERS ~:">

~aNiSr~