early in the morning, it's raining. i just love rain! rain never fail made me feels so good. plus it's Friday and raining on Friday morning made me feels better. but turns out raining also means something else.
in the afternoon, i cracked into tears. a call from 'closest' that i missed so much. hoping that i'll be there but i can't.
i'm in the middle of - I don't want to tell a LIE but can't afford to tell the TRUTH either. i have to respect both sides. but my 1st prioritize definitely towards my 'closest'. but i just can't tell the other 'closest'. so i'm stucked in the middle. when i put down the phone, my tears just burst. can't even say a word. but i know, this decision made is the best for me right now. sometimes i just have to follow & see & no need to think further. 'closest' knows better than anyone else.
i do hope the other 'closest' understand eventhough sometimes i doubt about it. seriously, i want to be there for the WHOLE day. i mean it! sometimes i feel i just wanna go & never bother of him, but i know, i can't afford to do that. but when 'closest' give out the red light, i don't have anything to say. but there is also other reasons why i can't make it.
Dearest Closest +++ (why? because there are few of them)
Sorry i can't make it. I wish I can tell everything. but i guess it's for our own good, for both sides. but my Love towards all of you will never change... that's for sure!
~aNiSr~
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